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The Sibling Connection

My Sister Didn't Forget to Say Good-bye

I have a story I would like to share.

I hope I am able to get a very special message to anyone who may be having any kind of disagreements with someone in your family. I do believe this is what my sister was trying to tell me the night before she was killed.

She was just three years younger then I, and no matter how hard either one of us tried we could never get along. We had a lot of good times growing up, but it was always short-lived due to our not-stoppable sibling quarrels. It drove our parents crazy. Even when we finally grew up, we still couldn't get along. We were completely opposite from one other, but on the other hand we were so much alike. We both struggled with constant episodes of depression and lived with the constant fear of being abandoned. We could've made a big difference in each other lives. But because of so many childish events I always feared my sister's jealous behavior, and she refused to believe that I wasn't out to get even with her or take advantage.

Until about 5 years ago we were faced with a personal issue that caused us never to see or speak to one other again. During the holidays when she came by Mom's I would leave, and if she was there before me I would wait until later or simply come by the next day and forget about sharing the holiday with the family. Her three children and my only son all remained very close and have always gotten along well. I always felt like when our Mom passed away we would finally bury the hatchet between us.

Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. Because late one Saturday night my husband I went to the casino and just a few minutes after we arrived, I heard someone call my name. And when I turned around it was my sister. It had been the first time in over 5 years since I had seen her. At my mother's house we had some close calls, but had not actually run in to each other.

When we looked at each other on this day, face to face, neither one of us knew what to say at first, but when we looked at each other in the eyes, I knew she felt the same-- it was time to end this childish feud. She asked how things were going and I said as well as can to be expected. And then before I knew it she reached over and hugged me and said goodbye, and whispered "I love you, Sis"

I got goose bumps and a little tear fell from my eye, when she walked away. I couldn't believe it had been over 5 years since we had spoken even one word to each other.

Then late Monday night around 3:00am (aprox. 48 hours later) my mother called and said, "Your sister is gone". And to this day I still can't even try to explain how I felt that first few minutes. I asked my mother how, and she told me she was in an accident-- a single car fatality. I then hung up the phone and cried. And even though it has only been three weeks since she has been gone, it still doesn't seem real.

She was always the stubborn one that never gave up, and was always the one that went on all the fishing and camping trips with Mom and her husband and her 3 kids and my son. I was the outsider, that kept as minimal contact as possible with the family, and we all lived within 10 miles of one other.

This is all still quite an overwhelming experience and I've just about completed a beautiful and inspiring poem about a lot of good times my sister and I had together when we were growing up. We used to sing to many different songs on the radio and do a lot of crazy things together.

I would like to say that when you lose a brother or a sister at any age, it's a completely different kind of grief then when you lose a mother or a father. It's like you've lost a part of yourself. I hope the message is clear,,,,, Lisa






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