I was in the middle of finishing a 6 page paper for my last assignment in my abnormal psychology class. Around 2:00 I was in the middle of my 5th page when someone knocked on my door.
I opened the door to see my dad's best friend frantic with blood shot eyes.
Before I could even get a word in he said "There's been an accident. We lost Trent."
I imagined my little brother off in a field somewhere lost after a car accident because he was scared, but that wasn't the case. He was gone. 4 days before his 6th birthday, he was gone.
At 1:11 on Saturday June 11th, 2011 my world was shattered by a 19 year old girl that over corrected, drove across the median, and killed my brother and an elderly couple.
I'm a Criminal Justice/ Psychology major. Nothing I ever learned had prepared me for the feelings that overcame me as I gave out a scream and slid down the door. I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't speak. I couldn't believe this was my reality. I went to make a phone call but couldn't find the words to tell my mom I needed her to come home.
I couldn't tell her that I had just lost my little brother and that my dad, stepmom, and sister were in Tallahassee in ICU with injuries caused by a fatal accident.
My dads best friend gave her the news and she came home. I had to call my brothers and tell them.
My brother Tadd came home as soon as I called him and sat in the drive way and sobbed.
Many people showed up to my house and watched me as I sat numb on my couch not knowing what to do or say.
I watched my brothers pack for Tallahassee and before they left we held each other and sobbed. I was still in disbelief. My little brother.
The baby that was a surprise when I got home from school one day. The baby I spent my summers with. The chubby toddler that played in the dirt all day.
My little Batman with a speech impediment and baby blue eyes. My 5 year old brother Trent was gone.
No one ever said the right words or did the right things. I just wanted to be left alone. I never wanted the text messages that said "Thinking of you" or "praying for you".
I wanted it all to be just a bad dream. He would never be 10, 16, or 18 years old. He would never grow up to be a NASCAR driver or football player.
He was truly gone and there was nothing I could do about it. For a very long time I was angry. I blamed the girl for not paying attention. I blamed God for taking someone so young and full of life.
I blamed myself for not being in the car to keep him safe.
With the pain of losing him came pain from being a sibling. He wasn't my child. He wasn't my parent. Surely I wasn't in as much grief as everyone thought I was in.
I was there for my dad and my stepmom but no one asked how I was doing. No asked how my step sister, my brothers, and I were taking this.
It was like only my dad and my stepmom had lost a child. I felt guilty for awhile feeling this way, but we lost him too and it wasn't fair.
The only person that was fully understanding was our mother.
Through the loss of my brother I have found the silver lining to my dark storm cloud. Such a beautiful, wonderful, and pure soul will never have to truly witness the horrors of the world.
Though his life was short, it was full of love and kindness. There are still teachers of his that speak on how precious he was and how generous he was.
He is with me always now. Sometimes when I close my eyes I can hear his giggle, see his smile, or hear his foot steps running across the hardwood floors.
It's these thoughts that keep me going.
I feel that with my name will always come his and when I succeed, he will succeed. I want to live a beautiful and prosperous life not just for myself, but also for my personal superhero,
Trent Logan Thompson.